Eman's Place

Tonight is the 19^th night of Ramadan, and I’ve fallen into the same slump that I fall into every year. I start off strong and then I get a short break (we’re all adults) or I just poop out. And then I’m coasting on very little until Eid.

I’ve been seeing people on Facebook talk about how awesome they feel and I feel a little bit jealous, because I don’t feel that. I’m actually counting down the days until Ramadan ends so I can stop feeling guilty for not taking advantage of it. Fasting is wiping me out and I wish I had somewhere to travel to, or a really bad cold, so I can have a small break.  And all I hear is the supplication that I’ve been hearing for many years about hoping to blessed to see another Ramadan.

Ramadan was so much easier when I was in college. Firstly, Ramadan was in December and sunset was at 4:30. Secondly, I didn’t have a care in the world. My life consisted of hanging out at school and skipping class. I didn’t have a mortgage, a job, debt and all the other things that weigh our spirit down.

I miss being excited about Ramadan. This year I was dreading it. And the first week was tough. By 3:00 pm, my knuckles were dragging on the ground at work and I was moving at a snail’s pace. And this year Egyptians didn’t even turn back the clocks like they always did. I bet they miss Mubarak (joke).

My prayer to God is to give me the strength to make the most of this Ramadan, and although I didn’t earn it, I hope that I get to see many more Ramadans, so that I at least can get rewarded for sleeping while I’m fasting. And please, please forgive me for my shortcomings.

Now I need to go and do something useful.